The Little Caterpillar

Being the bored bird that I am, I decided a fun decision. Why not write a story? Well why not? I’ll tell you why not. Because stories take a long, long time to complete. And being the lazy person that I am, I don’t want to even attempt it. Then again, I will. Once upon a time in a far away land where there were rainbow kittens and blue hornets, there was a small, small boy. Now when I say “small”, I mean SMALL. This boy was approximately 2’3" and wore orange overalls. His name was Rencedacinzo. Now to step away from the story for a short moment, you may be thinking, but Lauren, I don’t quite know how to pronounce that name! Well neither do I. In fact, I believe that that is the genius behind this story. It requires you to use your own interpretation and imagination to make this story your creation. Now don’t take that last line to heart. You will NEVER be the creator of this story. NEVER. Due to the fact that this is my story. The point is, is that the sentence rhymed and now we are all over it. Don’t get me wrong, it was fun while it lasted, but now we’re back to reality. And in this reality, we are in a fantasy land. Here, Rencedacinzo is sitting all by his lonesome under a giant mushroom tree. As he picks away at the marshmallow bark, a tiny little caterpillar jumps up on his lap. He pets the small creature multiple times, until all of a sudden, he squishes it. Fin.

I've Got The Power

ONCE UPON A TIME I STARTED TO WRITE A STORY. THE REASON FOR THIS BEING THAT I, LAUREN OAKLEY, Am an amazing stoRy writer. The GREat thing about story-writing is tHAt the author, being me of course, can Do WHATEVER THEY WANT. They, at that moment, have tHe power to decide FatE. SeeMs PRETTY powerFul, doesn’t it? Right Now You May be thinking, But Lauren, are YoU on DRugs or what? My Response: what. It’s the response for EVERYTHING. One simple word: “What”. You can Literally ask it about anything. ANYTHING. Try me. “Guess what happened today?” What. “Did you clean your room today?” What? “Today, I bought three goldFish.” What.. See! It’s practically the only English word you really need to know. Did you know that there are 925,401,721 words in the english language? liar. no you didn’t. oh you did, did you? well what if i told you i made that number up??? Cause I did. See, now this makes the both of us liars. But you know what they say about liars? It takes 2... TO MAKE A THING GO RIGHT!  HA! HA! Tricked ya! Bet you didn’t see that one coming. That’s the thing about my stories.. you never know where they will take you. And the thing about story-writing, if you want to make your story good, then you have to add stuff to them, like SIMILES. So here it goes: My stories are like winding roads. That’s it. That’s my simile. It’s true isn’t it? This story started completely different than the way it is going to end. SPOILER ALERT. Speaking of the word “Simile” it looks like the word SMILE. The word “smile” is a great word. It can be used in so many different sentences! “SMILE, you’re on candid camera!”, “Smiling is the key to happiness!”. Every other Tuesday is national smile month. Bet you didn’t know that! You see, that is the thing about reading my work. You learn so much. You’re welcome. No seriously. You are. OMG look at the time! I almost completely forgot that every day that I wear the colour auburn, I go long-jumping! Dear lord, I feel so foolish for forgetting!  Anyways, I must part from this beautiful story. Stay FR3$H, like Sobey’s.TTYL.... annnnnnnnd scene. Cut.

Written and performed by Lauren Oakley